happy memories to keep me by.

-says:
but. have you ever thought of wat i regard the most.
-says:
its between us.
-says:
you and me, we both have to honor it.
alvina says:
honor wht?
-says:
truth.

-says:
if my mum has somethin' to pick on you abt
-says:
its only because i'm too into you. tats all.

-says:
good luck.
-says:
i love you.

that was sweet. considering she hasnt told me she loved me in such a long time.
she asked.

alvina toh is hornier than lucinda yong
agree or disagree?

the answer came out within a second.
AGREE !
lol

at least we switched topics.
at least i got off my chest what i wanted to say.
at least, she understand.

alvina

she said.


- says:
lets fall asleep hand in hand, n forget abt everything else we're feelin'.
alvina says:
can we really do that?
-says:
yes. without words, without kisses, without fondlin'.

i cant seem to stop loving fall out boy.
i wonder why.

alvina

the opening of my blog.

no no no more private moments. because of this scheme i have discovered! hopefully things work out well.
SO PLEASE.
visit my damn blog! muhahaha.
if it does, id be blogging every single day!
whhahahaha!

was quite emo last night.
because of stuff that happened and that song that i heard from sihui!

You talk about life, you talk about death,
And everything in between,
Like it's nothing, and the words are easy.
You talk about me, and you talk about you,
And everything I do,
Like it's something, that needs repeating.
I don't need an alibi or for you to realize,
The things we left unsaid,
Are only taking space up in our head.
Make it my fault, win the game
Point the finger, place the blame
It does me up and down,
It doesn't matter now.

[chorus:]
'Cause I don't care if I ever talk to you again.
This is not about emotion,
I don't need a reason not to care what you say,
Or what happened in the end.
This is my interpretation,
And it don't, don't make sense.

The first two weeks turn into ten,
I hold my breath and wonder when it'll happen,
Does it really matter?
If half of what you said is true,
And half of what I didn't do could be different,
Would it make it better?
If we forget the things we know.
Would we have somewhere to go?
The only way is down, I can see that now.

It's really not such a sacrifice

And it don't have to make no sense to you at all,
'Cause this is my interpretation, yeah, yeah, yeah.

i wonder why it hits so close to home. hmm. oh well.
things are starting to get busier at starhub. and im glad! im done with my mock ups already! i just need to start with the design now.
now that s the hard part. damn.

i wonder why when i feel unwell she s sick too.

alvina
i lead a double life.
i want dan brown, angels and demons. anyone?

we could have sex all night, destroy dreams, or just die.

i broke someone s heart 2 days ago.
and probably her heart is still breaking now.
she put my hand to her heart, and she said
"its gone. its all gone."
and thats when i realised,
my heart broke along with hers too.

i didnt mean to do what i did.
i didnt mean to say the words coming out of my mouth.
i know your reaction would be "excuse."
but im just not strong enough.
to see you cry,
to see you at your weakest point.
im just not strong enough
to go through what ive put you through.

i didnt know i meant that much to you.
didnt know you loved me that much.
i didnt know you meant so much to me too,
didnt know i loved you that much too.

its fucking painful to see you go,
its fucking painful to watch you leave.
its more painful than the cuts on my hand
for i know, no matter how much more i allow the wounds to show,
it d never be enough.

yesterday was great.
at the place we ate,
the suprise kiss you sprang was gut-wretchingly warm,
at the movies,
we laughed our hearts out, holding hands
at the train station,
we played foolish games.

"i never know what the future brings,
but i know that this much is true,
we d make it through
and i hope you are the one share my life with
and i wish that you could be the one die with
and i'm praying you're the one i build my home with
i hope i love you all my life"

serende me with all your songs,
play your guitar and
sing our lullabye.
dream our awesome dreams
love our loveless life.

alvina
this

love.

back to square 1.

i wished on a star.
and it granted my wish.

NO. im not kidding now. its true! and i fucking freaked the shit out of me. damn.
at starhub again. bored to my pits now. supposed to have a discussion but that is dont know at what time. oh well. at least there s something to do! so far i drawn like 3 shirts already! i want MORE. so that i can draw more more more! muhahahha. and of course, SELL. oh well. i just need the bloody money now. SIGH.

it always links back to money la. fuck.

went back to TP yesterday. woooo hooo! i miss the school so fucking much la. sigh. met dah daniel wei wei daniel keng boon wany ina blah blah blah yvonne too! lol. damn happy to see all my friends la. like FINALLY. someone i know and all la. headed to bugis after ! iggis you rock la. lol. cant deny.

went home really late last night and my dad freaked out. sigh i just feel so emo la. like all of a sudden. no anger or boil boiling all. damn it. i think im gonna start PMS ing soon then my mens gonna come. cause ! my right breast has been giving me problems since yesterday la. kaos. oh well. we d wait and see.

OH AND I SAW JOANNNA MAN HOI YEEE! JO JO JO I MISSS YOU!

upcoming events.
bangkok trip
shirts
shirts
money
shirts
money
work

alvina
it always goes back to square 1. no matter how i walk, run, jump, turn.

as harsh as all these gets.

ahhh. havent been blogging for quite some time now. it has been 8 days! as usual, im at starhub, rotting my sad lonely ass away. oh my god. i dont know how long more of this i can take la!
anyway! i brought my stuff to do, so hopefully i wouldnt be too bored today ! had a fab day yesterday. arcading the day away with my silly brother. wonder when s the next time i can do it with him again. and maybe the next time id bring him to a better arcade where we could race together and stuff.

life s been like that. i feel like im living a routine. cant imagine if in the future i had like a full time job in town or central area. im be dragging my ass to work everyday. i wonder how every adult does it. its so. BORING!

watched a hell lot of movies. ok not a lot la. just 4.
Spider Man 3
stupid long and draggy show. 5.5/10

200 Pounds of Beauty
love love love ! love this show ! 8/10

28 weeks later
i hope a game is coming out for this show. it was WOW. 7.5/10

Next
Great! but really stupid ending. effects were nice too! 8/10

and now, alvina is offically broke. i need a supplier of plain tee shirts! then i can draw on all of them with my "nice" designs ! aiyeee!

created these 2 new links on my links thingy. go check it out. they are damn good websites!

JET is coming to Singapore. Anyone nice enough to bring me ?
DON and DREW are performing too!
ANYONE?

alvina
love to hate.
hate to love.

my heart is breaking

can you hear the smashing when you pound on it with unspoken words?
can you hear it scream with you drill in the pain?

i dont know why im still here with you
i dont why i proclaim so loudly that you re my one and only.
this lie
this deceit
i had enough

i want what you cant provide
i want things more than you cant imagine

you pushed me over the cliff
you ran me over time and time again with your car
you forced me into a corner i cant fathom.

now im lost
in the woods,
in your eyes,
in your heart.

i cant seem to find the way out,
cant seem to find my bread crumbs i threw just for this reason.

this emotion was felt.
as i sat alone, along a corridor, trying to find a space that fits.
i couldnt.
at that moment,
i just wanted to run into the next available person's arms, thinking that i could find some solitude.
i almost bursted out into tears,
almost cried rivers like before.

but no, i cant let it happen again, cant cry for a person who s showing me a different definition of pain.

she said , i misunderstood a lot of her actions.
maybe i did.
maybe i had too much time thus leadin me to make assumptions.
"assumptions are the root of all fucked - up problems."

alvina
maybe you could take away this.

all in a day.

kristle; who gives a fuck bout CSS? seriously. :/ says:
babe
kristle; who gives a fuck bout CSS? seriously. :/ says:
what just broke?

alvina it just broke. says:
oh my heart.

kristle; who gives a fuck bout CSS? seriously. :/ says:
but i still don't get why you
kristle; who gives a fuck bout CSS? seriously. :/ says:
're broken

alvina it just broke. i love you dadddyyyy! says:
yeah we d see what happens. when you go into a relationship you start expecting things. and when the other party cant deliver, shit happens.

kristle; who gives a fuck bout CSS? seriously. :/ says:
alright then
kristle; who gives a fuck bout CSS? seriously. :/ says:
whatever makes you happy
kristle; who gives a fuck bout CSS? seriously. :/ says:
i'll support you

kristle; and now i feel like puking. says:
(:
kristle; and now i feel like puking. says:
i love you
alvina it just broke. says:
love you too daddy.

and thats the reason why i love my daddy so much. she supports me no matter what decision i make although she thinks its really dumb!

AH! new relationships, old relationships.
all good things come to an end!
why why why?

like i said. when you go into a fucking relationship, expectations go up! and when you fail to response, the other half just gives you shit. damn! i can like plot a graph and draw like something out of it man!

work has been ok at starhub. at least i have stuff to do already. hee ! just finished drafting up a report and done 2 screenshot. need to come up with my templates sooon. omg.

anyone has like SJC s paper cut set still!? can lend me PLEASE!

yesterday was fun. was at this place. met up with JILLLLLLIAN! OMG. i missed you so much. why did you have to leave sjc at sec 2 ? thanks for accompanying me ! mina sia! then saw a few familiar faces here and there. blah blah. was waiting for a particular someone. oh well. felt so bloody out of place. was in a stupid dress and heels la! came back to Starhub only at 2 for a meeting which lasted 2.5 hours. wooooah that meeting was so intense la! damn it. i which i could have spoken up for Chun Yi or something. shit.
went down to bugis and i saw my KISSER! kiss kiss kiss! i love love love her. (:
sat down chilled. bus ride home with HOD 3. damn it damnnnn! i want it in my lappy too. but god knows why the file failed last night which sucked big time. to starbucks where i almost fell asleep and then homeee sweet ? homeeee!

give it up to me!
opps sorry balls. im listening to my mp3 and i cant help it ! muahahahha. i ve offically gone bonkers! reason : daddy s love. t shirt stress. coldness at starHub!

to you Jun Teck.
thanks for the memories
even though they werent so great
SHE tastes like you only sweeter!

i doubt you d be reading this. but you re coming on too strong all la. please. just breathe, alright?

11
special number.
only between her and me.
that one night
that she resisted, squirmed around and grabbed the sheets.
and when i said yes,
all hell broke loose.
we should do it more often.
hahahah!

alvina.
i stopped having expectations of anything when things started getting rocky.
you are my number one and only one.
i just have the eyes for you.
apparently, everyone else just bores me.
you have a smell, esp your room that make me oooooh wheee.
i dont know i dont know.
i lose myself when im with you.

now i know

with his hand running all across my bones
all along my skin;
you would think i felt hot, high whatever you say
but the sad thing was,
i wasnt even thinking of the person fillin me up.
i was thinking of you.

alvina
this is freaking.
gay pride.
hell yeah.